Contemplation

It was this of his, and hers as well, that drew them into each other’s lives; effortless conversations and thoughtful wishes were all they exchanged, each, in return of dreams they dreamt at night and day. These dreams they remained with for as long as their busy lives had space for. These dreams would then fade into their personal histories, tucked away, forbidden, even to themselves. These dreams, still, shape their daily lives, root their ambition, and hoist their fears.

Conversations were interrupted, thoughts were so as well, dreams are no more, and …

She speaks, and deafens my heart.

Rather, second first day at work. What a completely different experience it has been! My new work colleagues actually expected me to “produce” work on the first day, compared to my previous employers who had waited for 2 years until they decided to stop wondering what I was doing (which was virtually nothing). In fact, I’m not exactly sure they noticed that I’ve resigned and have not been in for a week now.

I can’t say I didn’t have my doubts. Being introduce to a little more than a dozen faces in under 5 minutes is not exactly doing me a fair introduction; I will have to embarrass myself several times now for having to ask for their names again, however, not one of them failed to return a smile and easy feeling that would go long enough to buy one another’s a cup of coffee.

Going back to university is absolutely awesome, though to work rather than study. Still, I never felt a stronger sense of belonging for any other environment. It even goes for when I’m in my lowest, that I would default to learning.

Those who congratulate me for my new appointment often miss the point and talk about how I took a decision to change careers. I didn’t change careers, I just started one. This is proving to be, understandably, confusing for the mass, since I’ve been of many skills. Some think I worked in IT, or teaching, or medicine, or in advertising, or in one or the other.

So there you go, this is as much as I’m ecstatic about my new job as, so much that I decided to pause the existential style of writing and adopt a dear-diary one. This, however, will not happen for a long time to come.

Silly Face: There’s been a good change in my life recently, well, that is rather will have been a good change in my life. Some of those who found themeselves around me found themselves cheery or indifferent or sadly full of envy. There are, though, still a numbered few, whom I ought to have shared the news with.

However, most I believe would rather hear the news before throwing arms around me, a couple are out of the country and would not appreciate the physical limitation of distance, and one whom I only manage to dial their number but never been able to push that damn ‘call’ button. Never mind the news, you’ll probably hear it from someone closer than I to you before you hear it from myself.

Lost Face:I sometimes pretend to be a complete idiot, so as to amuse myself. Sometimes I don’t need to pretend to be an idiot because I sometimes do what idiots do.

Perhaps you’d care to take the previous two sentences as an example, or perhaps you’d rather validate this idea by knowing that I have let myself, yet again, fall into an impossible situation of boy being meeting girl being under peculiar circumstances and complicated near futures whereby neither one of us can bring him/her self to a less complicated state of affairs.

Brave Face: Change, I recently sought in my recent daily life, and a shuffle and a cut I rather got. So, I find myself spliting and doubling and matching and only sometimes I risk it, only to find that almost often playing the wrong game.

Sometimes I get friendly players who let me off without a warning. Other times I don’t even get a warning.